BRIDE PRICE IN THE EAST TO BE COMPARED TO OTHER PARTS OF NIGERIA

JULIET UMEH examines the full range of bride price practices east of the Niger.

Ask Anthony Omeha why he is still single at 45. His response will give you an insight into why most youths from the South East of Nigeria marry late. Says Omeha, “I’ve been in a relationship with Chinasa Ukeh, my girl friend, for the past ten years, but I’ve not been able to tie the knot because getting married in my town is not child’s play. It could nearly push you to rob a bank, especially if you don’t have a good job or a viable source of income.

As a result, many are boycotting the normal process by swiftly getting their girlfriends pregnant, so that the family would accept whatever is presented to them. But I don’t want to go about it that way. And that’s why I’m still single, hoping to gather enough funds to face the challenge soonest.”

Ikenna Madu, a 38-year-old young man from Ezinihitte Mbaise in Imo State is obviously facing the same challenge.

He says, “My greatest predicament is certainly not only my unviable business but the fact that I couldn’t get Oluchi Uche, my former girl friend, to be my wife because of the high bride price in Mbaise, my locality. Both of us agreed to walk down the aisle in 2014, but that was not achievable due to financial constraints. Uche later backed out of the relationship and went with a young man who came from abroad during the last Christmas period.”

The jilted Madu tells his story further: “I have the intention of marrying from among my people, but fear always grips me whenever I think of what it takes to marry our ladies. I am not thinking of living with one illegally because, if, God forbid, she dies, you will be made to marry her corpse before she is buried. I lost my lover of many years because I couldn’t meet up with her people’s high expectations.

I am still a struggling man hoping to make it one day.”

Gladys Ezeh is from Mbano, in Imo State. She also has a story to tell. “My maternal uncle was lamenting recently that he doesn’t know how to present the list he was given by his kinsmen to his daughter’s suitor. The worst thing is that the list is now in two parts. There is a list for an educated girl and another list for the uneducated.”

While high bride price is often a stumbling block to singles from the South East, especially in Mbano and Mbaise communities of Imo State, bride price is not really an issue in most parts of the North and the South West.

According to Sheik Muhammad Awwal Adam, a prominent scholar in Adamawa State, dowry is one of the most significant pillars of marriage, without which marriage cannot be consummated in Islam. However, in Islam, the minimum amount acceptable as dowry is one quarter of a “Dinar”, which is about N10, 000.

That is nothing compared to the bride price of the South East.

Sola Aderemi, who is of Yoruba extraction, says with N20, 000, one can comfortably marry a wife in Yoruba land, which constitutes the South West. Still in the South East, many argue that bride price varies from community to community, and is not a problem in many places. Alloysius Njoku, a titled chief from Mbaise debunks the allegation of high cost of marriage in Imo State, especially in his community.

He says, “In Igbo land, especially in Mbaise where I come from, when we give you our daughter in marriage, you’ve just picked gold. She will have children for you and you will make profit and the woman will even take the father’s wealth to your place. Bride price varies from community to community.

For instance, in my place, Ibeku in Abombaise Local Government, when a boy and a girl agree to marry, we will give the groom-to-be the list of items for the bride price. That list may contain like 10 cartoons of beer, 10 cartoons of malt, 50 tubers of yam, wrappers, and 30 kegs of palm wine.

But I must let you know that if you are interested in marrying the girl, even if you bring one cartoon of beer, one keg of palm wine or one wrapper, we will ensure the wedding is successful.” Njoku continues, “I have a daughter in the university whose education I am solely funding presently. I cannot calculate how much I have spent on her.

Now, if she finds a man and both of them are in love, once I’m convinced that she likes the man, even if the man pays nothing, I can even use my money to settle our kinsmen. So when people say Mbaise people are collecting too much money as bride price, I would say it’s not like that in my case. No one is forced to do it. We will give you the list, and if you want to show that you have ‘arrived,’ the kinsmen will happily collect the items and money from you. But if you come to Mbaise with little or no money, you can take a wife.

In fact, we may even assist you to wed in church. Don’t mind those people who say they are single because of high bride price. They are just looking for excuses for their delay in getting married. Money cannot hinder anyone from getting married,” Njoku submitted.

Matthew Chukwu, also a title holder in Ehime Mbano in Imo state, unlike Njoku, insists the bride price in Mbano is still high. Chukwu, however, strongly believes the whole process should be upheld because that’s tradition. But he was quick to explain a way forward.

What's your opinion about this?

PRICE PRICE IN THE EAST TO BE COMPARED TO OTHER PARTS OF NIGERIA

JULIET UMEH examines the full range of bride price practices east of the Niger.
Ask Anthony Omeha why he is still single at 45. His response will give you an insight into why most youths from the South East of Nigeria marry late. Says Omeha, “I’ve been in a relationship with Chinasa Ukeh, my girl friend, for the past ten years, but I’ve not been able to tie the knot because getting married in my town is not child’s play. It could nearly push you to rob a bank, especially if you don’t have a good job or a viable source of income.
As a result, many are boycotting the normal process by swiftly getting their girlfriends pregnant, so that the family would accept whatever is presented to them. But I don’t want to go about it that way. And that’s why I’m still single, hoping to gather enough funds to face the challenge soonest.”
Ikenna Madu, a 38-year-old young man from Ezinihitte Mbaise in Imo State is obviously facing the same challenge.
He says, “My greatest predicament is certainly not only my unviable business but the fact that I couldn’t get Oluchi Uche, my former girl friend, to be my wife because of the high bride price in Mbaise, my locality. Both of us agreed to walk down the aisle in 2014, but that was not achievable due to financial constraints. Uche later backed out of the relationship and went with a young man who came from abroad during the last Christmas period.”
The jilted Madu tells his story further: “I have the intention of marrying from among my people, but fear always grips me whenever I think of what it takes to marry our ladies. I am not thinking of living with one illegally because, if, God forbid, she dies, you will be made to marry her corpse before she is buried. I lost my lover of many years because I couldn’t meet up with her people’s high expectations.
I am still a struggling man hoping to make it one day.”
Gladys Ezeh is from Mbano, in Imo State. She also has a story to tell. “My maternal uncle was lamenting recently that he doesn’t know how to present the list he was given by his kinsmen to his daughter’s suitor. The worst thing is that the list is now in two parts. There is a list for an educated girl and another list for the uneducated.”
While high bride price is often a stumbling block to singles from the South East, especially in Mbano and Mbaise communities of Imo State, bride price is not really an issue in most parts of the North and the South West.
According to Sheik Muhammad Awwal Adam, a prominent scholar in Adamawa State, dowry is one of the most significant pillars of marriage, without which marriage cannot be consummated in Islam. However, in Islam, the minimum amount acceptable as dowry is one quarter of a “Dinar”, which is about N10, 000.
That is nothing compared to the bride price of the South East.
Sola Aderemi, who is of Yoruba extraction, says with N20, 000, one can comfortably marry a wife in Yoruba land, which constitutes the South West. Still in the South East, many argue that bride price varies from community to community, and is not a problem in many places. Alloysius Njoku, a titled chief from Mbaise debunks the allegation of high cost of marriage in Imo State, especially in his community.
He says, “In Igbo land, especially in Mbaise where I come from, when we give you our daughter in marriage, you’ve just picked gold. She will have children for you and you will make profit and the woman will even take the father’s wealth to your place. Bride price varies from community to community.
For instance, in my place, Ibeku in Abombaise Local Government, when a boy and a girl agree to marry, we will give the groom-to-be the list of items for the bride price. That list may contain like 10 cartoons of beer, 10 cartoons of malt, 50 tubers of yam, wrappers, and 30 kegs of palm wine.
But I must let you know that if you are interested in marrying the girl, even if you bring one cartoon of beer, one keg of palm wine or one wrapper, we will ensure the wedding is successful.” Njoku continues, “I have a daughter in the university whose education I am solely funding presently. I cannot calculate how much I have spent on her.
Now, if she finds a man and both of them are in love, once I’m convinced that she likes the man, even if the man pays nothing, I can even use my money to settle our kinsmen. So when people say Mbaise people are collecting too much money as bride price, I would say it’s not like that in my case. No one is forced to do it. We will give you the list, and if you want to show that you have ‘arrived,’ the kinsmen will happily collect the items and money from you. But if you come to Mbaise with little or no money, you can take a wife.
In fact, we may even assist you to wed in church. Don’t mind those people who say they are single because of high bride price. They are just looking for excuses for their delay in getting married. Money cannot hinder anyone from getting married,” Njoku submitted.
Matthew Chukwu, also a title holder in Ehime Mbano in Imo state, unlike Njoku, insists the bride price in Mbano is still high. Chukwu, however, strongly believes the whole process should be upheld because that’s tradition. But he was quick to explain a way forward.

What's your opinion about this?